A Rose By Any Other Name


A local businessman has big plans for his recently purchased restaurant.  He’s sinking $250,000 to remodel and expand the facility.  He plans on hiring about 70 people and is teaming up with one of the best markets in town to supply the meat.  He’s also changing the name of the restaurant from “Spokes” to the “Route 20 Outhouse.”

The owner says, “Changing the name to Route 20 Outhouse partly refers to Highway 20 (the location).  ‘Roadhouse’ was already taken, and this building is “on the outskirts of Racine, so I said, well, ‘Outhouse.’”

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. 

Unless he transforms the Motorcycle themed “Spokes” into an incredible dining experience that becomes a word of mouth machine, the mental images associated with outhouses are going to negatively affect his table turns. “Let’s go out to dinner at the Outhouse, two holes, no running water, and the Sears and Roebuck catalog to read while you wait.

This isn’t the only “Outhouse” around.  There’s a bar in northern Wisconsin, a restaurant in Toronto, a place in Fort Myers and someone has trademarked the name “Outhouse” for a restaurant in Ohio.

I hope he succeeds beyond his wildest dreams.  I also hope he changes his mind about the name.

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Online Advertising Needs?


I’m not sure anyone has an online advertising need.  Maybe improved ROI or better conversion rates, but online advertising needs?  I think not.  When selling products and services don’t use cliches to make your point.  This from a website:

One-stop shop for your online advertising needs. *** Media offers a range of products including Content-based Advertising that is distributed across our network, Search Engine Optimization & Search Engine Marketing, and High Impact Display Advertising

If their “High Impact” display advertising is as compelling as the text they use to promote their services it’s a pretty good bet that they’ve disappointed a lot of advertisers.  Spend some time and come up with a compelling call to action and watch your response rates take off.

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It Does So Much More Than Just Tell The Time


How did I miss hearing about this?  Out of the funny papers and onto your wrist from Dinodirect; a watch that does everything but slice dice and mince onions all for about $200.  I’m not sure if this is a must have toy for my fat fingers or 50+ eyesight but I have to admit it’s pretty cool.  Touch Screen, FM, Bluetooth, MP3, MP4, camera, video, voice recorder, calendar, to-do list and on and on and on. About the only thing this model doesn’t have is WI-FI capability.  Evidently it’s waterproof too.

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The Newspaper (I don’t) Get It


Well it seems that the newspaper industry has finally caught up with the radio industry when it comes to dumb self-promotion.

In 2008 the Radio Advertising Bureau launched the “Radio Heard Here” campaign designed to underscore the broadening versatility of Radio’s content, the pioneering innovation of its technology and the continuing relevance of the medium in Americans’ lives.

Duh.

Not to be outdone, the Newspaper Association of America has just launched the “Smart Is The New Sexy” campaign.   According to the NAA “It’s a campaign for what newspapers represent, whether they are in print, online or mobile.”

Duh

One ad shows a cartoon of a woman reading the paper with thought balloons depicting the earth, a capitol building and a piece of pie.  The caption reads.  “Be able to find Iran on a map.  Know what the city council is up to behind closed doors.  Find out how to make an icebox peanut butter pie from scratch.  Get it all in the newspaper, print or digital, because a little depth looks great on you.”

Sorry, but if you want to find Iran on a map type “Iran Map” in your browser.  Bingo no newspaper required.  Ditto the pie recipe and even the city council.  To be completely fair I subscribe to the Sunday Milwaukee Journal Sentinel for two reasons.  First, to have a physical crossword puzzle to work on every Sunday and to have something to read at breakfast the rest of the week.  If I need info I don’t read the paper I search for it on line.  So it’s up to the paper to make sure their content shows up in my search.

The NAA has also missed the boat so far in one other respect.  The campaign will run in newspapers, by people who are already reading the newspapers.  Unfortunately the font on the ads available on the Internet isn’t large enough to read.  Go figure.

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Worst Ad In America


For all the right reasons I love my DVR.

For the second year in a row the readers of the Consumerist have voted for the worst commercial of the year.  Last year, Staples “Wow” ad took the honors followed by the Quiznos “Kittens.”  This year Luvs “Poop There It Is” was voted the worst followed closely by AT&T’s “Mistake” ad.

Fortunately, I have only seen the Staples and the AT&T ads on television.  I am looking forward to the second ad in the AT &T campaign where the husband uses his unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes to tell the kids that mom won’t be around for Sunday dinner and to stay out of the greenhouse until the smell subsides.

When it comes to advertising, compelling tops simply cute and clever for results.

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When Shorter Ads Aren’t Better


It’s a 10-second radio ad.  It runs right before the news on one of the local stations.  It is a jingle.  I can’t tell you what business it is for.  I believe the ad says, “B & M at your service” followed by a phone number.  I’ve heard the ad a lot.  I’ve even stopped what I was doing and put my head next to the radio and listened carefully.  I’ve searched every combination of letters that sound like “B” and “M” on the Internet hoping to discover what they are at my service for.  No luck.  The area code is left out of the phone number.  I’ve tried both area codes in Milwaukee without any luck.  Even though I listened carefully I evidently wrote the number down wrong.

Most people are normal.  They are able to ignore stupid ads out and go on with their lives.   I am not normal.  This ad confuses – nay – vexes me.  I  don’t know why this advertiser runs 10 second ads.  If they are doing it to save money they aren’t saving anything.  Because every time that ad comes on, the business’ ad budget gets a little smaller and a small piece of my soul dies.  Make your ads no longer than they need to be, understandable and make a point the listener can respond to.  Response is so much better than rants.

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Advertising Has Gone to the Dogs


Nestlé Purina has launched an television ad campaign in Austria for it’s Beneful brand dog food.  I predict that the publicity the campaign generates will do more to sell the product than the ad will.  But whatever works, right?

It certainly isn’t a new idea.  Before the days of commercial broadcasting Ivan Pavlov won a Nobel Prize for driving his dogs crazy.

The Beneful ad includes a ‘squeaky toy” squeak, a high frequency tone similar to a dog whistle that only the dog can hear and a high-pitched “ping” which can be heard by dogs and people (unless you are an ex rock disc jockey).

Dr Sanders, of Nestlé Purina PetCare in Germany, notes the a dog’s reaction depends on the dog and dog owners experience.  Dogs who play with squeaky toys will react most strongly to the sound.  Duh.

The sound of a bag of dog food being opened made my dog quite excited, so did the phrase “Go Ride Car.”  And a friend’s dog would go absolutely crazy when someone mentioned the word “trolley car.”

If you are thinking of playing the ad for your dog remember the combination of the audio quality on You Tube and your computer speakers wipes out a great deal of the high end of the audio spectrum.   If you try it please report back.  I am currently in custody of a couple of cats and as we all know, cats don’t care.

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